If I Had Legs I’d Kick You: A Brutally Honest Dive into Maternal Collapse

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If I Had Legs I’d Kick You (2025)

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You, written and directed by Mary Bronstein, is a raw, unsettling film about the psychological shattering that can come when motherhood, illness, and neglect collide. Anchored by a powerhouse performance from Rose Byrne, it’s as much a visceral nightmare as it is a social portrait — but its relentlessness may be overwhelming for some.

What Works

Rose Byrne’s Performance: Searing and Unforgettable

Byrne embodies Linda — a mother and therapist under crushing pressure — with such intensity that the film’s anxiety becomes tangible. Her face, often captured in tight, suffocating close-ups, conveys exhaustion, rage, guilt and a mounting sense of unreality. Many critics regard this role as one of the best of 2025.

Immersive Depiction of Psychological Collapse

The film doesn’t just show Linda unraveling — it makes you feel it. Through tight camera work, erratic editing, oppressive sound design and darkly surreal imagery (like a leaking ceiling that seems to mirror her inner void), the film pulls the audience into Linda’s crumbling mind. It turns everyday stressors into horror-movie level dread.

Unflinching Look at the Hidden Burdens of Caregiving

The story doesn’t dramatize trauma for catharsis — it lays it bare: a chronically ill child, an emotionally absent spouse, professional obligations, systemic neglect. The film resonates because it reflects realities that many avoid acknowledging, giving voice to a type of suffering often minimized.

Strong Supporting Elements & Dark Humor

Moments of levity — dark, uncomfortable, but real — emerge occasionally, giving the film breathing room without undermining its tone. Supporting performances (including a surprise-turn from a cameo by Conan O'Brien) offer contrast and complexity, preventing the film from becoming a one-note descent.

What Doesn’t

Relentless Intensity = Heavy Viewing

The film rarely lets up. The emotional weight and unflinching realism make it a difficult watch. For some viewers, the constant tension, despair and chaos can feel overwhelming — or even punishing.

Ambiguity and Fragmented Resolution

The film doesn’t tidy things up with easy answers. Some plot threads remain unresolved. Viewers expecting closure or redemption may be left feeling unsettled and unsatisfied.

Emotional Exhaustion Over Relief

While the film insists on honesty, its refusal to offer relief or lighter perspectives may alienate audiences who prefer more balanced narratives. By the end, it feels less like a story than an emotional ordeal.

Verdict

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You isn’t entertainment — it’s confrontation. It’s a film that bruises you emotionally and leaves you raw, but sometimes that’s the kind of film the world needs. With Rose Byrne giving what many consider a career-defining performance, and Mary Bronstein directing with uncompromising honesty, it forces you to sit with discomfort, motherhood’s hidden weight, and what happens when all support systems fail.

Recommended for viewers ready for a heavy, unfiltered look at mental collapse and caregiving trauma.

Not recommended for those seeking escapism or emotional comfort — this one bites back.